“The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 34:18

There are few things as enjoyable as riding around in the bed of a truck at 1 in the morning. My friends Salar and Ryan Hetu had spent the night packing away Salar’s things into the back of his old Mercedes because, in the morning, Salar would be leaving Kansas City and heading to Nashville. After making a the final run to the dumpster in the bed of a truck we returned back to the house. We had spent the night joking around and laughing, but at the end of the night Salar, his brother Samon, Ryan Hetu, and I were left standing on a  rainy sidewalk in Kansas City with nothing more to laugh about. Morning was coming quickly and each of our stories were to begin in a new direction. Because when one brother moves along it changes the course of each of his brothers lives.

Once we all had seemed to run out of things to say Hetu suggested that we pray about all of this. The four of us grabbed hands and began to pray. As we prayed over the situation I could feel something start to stir in me. I had been struggling with feeling just empty when I prayed and I was longing for some response from this Creator that was supposed to be as intimate as He was infinite. I remember each man seemed to speak so profoundly and as we prayed I could feel the walls that I had spent years building start to crack and for maybe the third time in my adult life I truly cried. As the tears flowed down my cheeks I thought about Salar and how he was following what he believed God was calling him to. I also thought about how we had shared some really hard times over the past few years as our friendship grew and how every challenge had strengthened him and led him right to this point, the point where God was calling him to be. Lastly, I thought about how lately things just weren’t really going my way, how fear and insecurity had seemingly taken over me. The past few months of my life had found me losing people I truly love left and right in one way or another, and I had been feeling abandoned. During this prayer these walls started falling, I began to realize the significance of Psalm 34:18

The prayer concluded, and we all continued to cry and we all hugged as we said goodnight. Salar had become a brother to me the past three years, and its never easy letting family go.

I think times like these are important, they change something in us. Through a broken heart I was able to truly experience the Lord in a real way for the first time in years. We need to carry these moment with us and draw from them when the next change happens.